There's moments when everything seems to be falling apart
I see the worst in who I am. Is that where I will go?
I imagine myself as a vile being
And I hate a part of me I don't understand
I want to grow and be successful
If I make money, so be it
If I live on the streets, I will wander
It matters more I discover who I am
Am I a person of peace,
or am I a person who will constantly mess up the opportunities set before me
spiral downward and end up regretting who I am
I don't want to hide anymore
I don't want to look the other way
It is easier to turn away from the truth because we can't accept it
So Tonight,
Maybe that will be something I will discover in my dreams
Maybe I will have to wait longer for me to accept who I really am
How do I rise above these insecurities and forgive myself for my own misperceptions
for my own misunderstanding and stubbornness

The last few weeks have been difficult
Life seems to stand at you with an iron rod, threatening you to do better
to achieve something greater so you don't worry about the rest of your life.
Do I wonder where I am going now?
It feels like a trap when I choose a high road, the low road jumps in front of me as I walk along
I don't know if I could really last long upon the way that would be positive because I don't love who I am
In the endless search for meaning, I wrote this poem a while back, and it gave me hope. Love

Broke down, I will close my eyes and heal

For now, I am awakened to my true meaning

Would I deny, a debt I've been ignoring

By diving deeper into a world unknown

Where things seem out of place

The world is not a steady pace

Where nothing is everything 

And silence the loudest music

Where freedom is a blanket

That covers every fiber of being

It holds you tightly and shows you 

Even when you're unaware of what it would want

A love so tender and so rare 

Even the clouds move to find it