Defeat.
This is what you shall know if you resist God. For he shall tear at your pride and rip at your guilt with a force far greater than any known to man. You shall know defeat because His call is far greater than any calling you could ask for. Each day a veil is placed before the eyes and the body is set forth to do a role outside of what He has asked. Yes go to work, watch television, play a sport, that is normal. It is great to see that we as a society can grow. So long as we grow in the right way.
Remind yourself though, what toil is. Has it been present in your life? And where does toil abide?
So now I ask, in all this toil, what has been your GREATEST fear?
My greatest fear is to acknowledge that God has already won.
He has already won, and already, waits for you to see. It is like the resistance fighters in a captured state, no matter how they try to disrupt the enemy, their feats are futile. No matter how they deny that the greater force has won, this greater force is the truth.
No matter how they deny this greater force, the greater force is far greater than any they could imagine, yet they hide in their bunkers and wait for it to go away. But it will never go away, will never cease to exist, because in this case, it is existence.

My prayers have been lately," God I only want to know you deeper." "Let me know you better now" "I only want to know you deeper than I have in the past."

I want to surrender to God, because even though I still fight, is this fight worthwhile?
Would the resistance fighters be stubborn enough to not understand who their greater force is, before fighting?
What if that greater force, was the better force, that brought peace and prosperity to all the land?
I haven't been writing lately, because I have not had time, and also because I was so lost in all the conflict around me. Lately I've been hateful of a former girlfriend, because I have been envious knowing she would never acknowledge me again. But I saw on her Facebook a picture of her being happy, and I remembered from the Bible in 1 John 4:20,"Those who say,"I love God," and Hate their brothers and sisters; are liars; for those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love God who they have not seen" I could not truly love God if I held this hatred in my heart, and now I ask all of you. Let go of the people or things that have hurt you, surrender to God who loves you and resembles Love in its greatest aspect. 1 John 3:18,"Little Children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action."

Have a blessed day in Spring, may God fill you with his Joy.So long as you seek, you shall find him